Part 2

Unfortunately, my changes in my birth control did not solve the problem instantly, as I had hoped. My hormones were still up and down, and I was extremely stressed, caught in a period of deep anxiety and low self-esteem.

I regularly visited an acupuncturist, who at the time served as my therapist, advisor, and almost like a family doctor. He had immensely helped me through this experience, aligning with Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) teachings—a perspective that resonated with my beliefs. TCM holds that the body's Qi, or energy, ebbs and flows, and when it stagnates, it can create blocks in our body. TCM also explores how illness can manifest due to emotional experiences affecting our organs. As I processed this experience, I identified triggers around me and how my body had processed recent events.

Firstly, I was extremely self-critical, always pointing out my flaws and never appreciating my positive traits. I had just completed a master’s but immediately jumped into another course of study to prove myself, berating myself when tired or unable to focus. I was reliving experiences where I did not believe I was worthy, feeling the need to suffer to be happy.

Secondly, for months, I had contemplated removing my birth control but ignored my body's signals, dismissing my inner cues and distrusting it. I listened to authority figures over my own intuition.

In TCM, acne is related to hormonal imbalances, diet, stomach issues, and toxin buildup. Tests revealed I had a mild form of PCOS, causing hormonal imbalances and ovarian cysts. Simultaneously, a naturopath diagnosed leaky gut, mild IBS, and untreated intolerances causing stomach pain and inflammation.

Despite the diagnosis, I refused unnatural interventions, opting for a holistic approach on both mind and body, researching healing foods and adopting a homeopathic protocol from a local naturopath to heal my gut bacteria. I am using an anti-inflammatory, intolerance-eliminating food protocol (I am gluten and lactose intolerant, and I have a longer list of other intolerances). For some people this may be considered torturous but for me it was the only choice to actually see results and heal my stomach, hormone and skin imbalances.

My rejection of myself in this moment was also a clear factor in the manifestation of my acne. I began to work on my mindset, visualizing and feeling how I wanted to feel when I healed, as well as on both my self-confidence and self-esteem.

When I let my body choose what it needed, it started to heal. It became my friend, and I began to listen, and it listened to me. I realized throughout this experience that everything is connected—emotionally, physically, and mentally. Now my skin has done a complete 360 but my mindset is what created this shift. Firstly, I accepted myself beyond my achievements, beyond my perceived success and also beyond my pimples and acne scars. I began to love my body unconditionally despite still judging it at times (working on it). I began to give it my positive thoughts and support and not overburden it and I began to project my desired feelings of how my body would feel once I would be healed into my day-to-day life.

I still get breakouts and even some hormonal larger breakouts but I know this is just my skin trying to give me a clue that something is not right in another organ and so instead of judging I try to tune in to what its saying. The body is almighty and really can speak to us when we give it our trust.

I am on a healing journey, and I am proud of my progress. I am thankful for those who supported me along the way—friends, doctors, and family. This journey aims to inspire others to heal themselves, recognizing that you know what's right for you. If you tune in, you can learn to understand, and ultimately with the right mindset, help and support of others you can move through it too.